Its the Little Things

Sometimes I look back on at a week and wonder what did I do and where did that time go? Or its when you get the question when you're back in hospital for the next Tysabri boost "have you been up to anything since your last infusion?"
Its times like these that leave me feeling like life is passing me by - I've nothing 'major' to report - and gives me a hate of the MS and what it stops me from doing whether that is due to fatigue or the fact that I wouldn't be able to get on a skateboard and go down the ramps showing my son a trick or two. Ok so that last part would not happen even if I had full balance and coordination as I'm pretty sure I'd end up sprawled on the floor needing a trip to A&E.
Instead having nothing major to report can be a good thing - I've not broke my leg or burnt the house down (touching wood that I'm not tempting fate writing this).

So whilst there may be no 'big' event to detail in the time given or to write a blog post about there are plenty of smaller things that have made up the passage of time.
In keeping with this here's some of my small things this week:-
* going to a quiz with friends and making an individual contribution on the grand total of 2 questions out of 8 rounds (we had a couple of brainiac quizzers on the team)
* finding a cache with my son; navigating an alternative route, playing in some small but deep snowy areas from storm Emma, realising we'd walked into a field with an electric fence a second after my son had walked into the fence (he doesn't do anything slow - there were no signs on it or nearby but he's absolutely fine and laughs about it)
* creating static shocks and getting them to jump between our fingertips the day after the electric fence incident
* being told the latest jokes from the recent 'poo' edition of science magazine Whizz, Pop, Bang! - like ugh... seriously yuck... perfect toilet humour for my son and science experiments surrounding poo (no need for actual poo!)
* spending time with friends even the 10 minutes when dropping off a birthday card knowing there's friendships that doesn't matter if you don't see each other as much as you'd like they're still amazing friends and you can catch up where you left off.

Life is made up of the smaller things - enjoy them - there's more of them than the bigger things but that doesn't mean they're any less enjoyable.

From MonSter to Mummy and Back Again at A Fatigue Pace

The MonSter in me rears it head and I can feel my tolerance diminishing. Add to the mixture a child who has a thirst for knowledge with incessant questioning about anything, everything and nothing and the tolerance there minutes earlier has evaporated leaving a ratty mummy (I grow a rat tail and ears instead of a devil's tail and horns). My poor son ends up with a mummy who can take no more questions long before I've answered the first one.

OK, so this may be quite familiar to most parents but imagine the ability to answer the questions being put on fast forward 10x with that final part of "Please NO more questions - let mummy think" being too soon for an inquisitive mind that wants to learn and you want to encourage. You're wishing you could manage for longer sharing your knowledge and the feeling of guilt returns as you send your child off to entertain themselves - still dangerous but the potential fallout/need is further away after a possible nap or quick meditation.

I have learnt to give myself the space I need, knowing this is a way to return back to Mummy instead of the MonSter Mummy. For me a brief meditation to recoup and gather myself then gives me enough to return to family life - for a short while at least. 

I get up to my feet, brace myself for what I'm about to walk into and step through the door to the room my son is silently in - this cannot be a good thing... silence - to find him reading - and the Mummy returns - hugs all round!